He was my brother's best friend and the definition of unavailable.

But I didn't care.

I had loved him for as long as I could remember.

He was worth the risk. He was worth everything.

But then he broke my heart as easily as I fell for him. He watched me fall, spiraling out of control, and as I reached for him, he wasn't there to catch me.

So I ran.

Four years later, I never expected to see him again.

He was still my brother's best friend, and he was more unavailable than ever.

He looked every bit the bad boy I knew he was, covered in tattoos and a crooked smile.

Guarding my heart from him was top priority because Parker James was where good girls go to die.

Unfortunately for him, I wasn't a good girl anymore.

He set his keys down on the counter and stared at me from across the room.

“You’re still here.” His voice was soft and just hearing it seemed to calm some of my anxiety.

“I told you I would be.”

He nodded his head, but I could see how lost he was in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

He shook his head and looked away from me.

“I’m just tired. I’m going to jump in the shower. Okay?”

I nodded my head and he made his way up the stairs without a backward glance.

As I watched his back disappear up the stairs, my chest ached. He was hurting. It was clear to see it, but I didn’t know how to make it better. I didn’t know how to make him let me back in.

I walked up the stairs and I heard the shower kick on as I entered his room. He had left the door cracked open, and even though I knew I was invading his privacy, I stood at the door and watched him. His forehead pressed against the shower wall, the cascade of water raining down on him.

I stripped my clothes off until I was completely bare, and I stepped into the shower behind him. He didn’t lift his head when he heard the shower door, but I watched the muscles of his back tense.

“Livy, what are you doing?”

“Parker, please.” I ran my hands down his back before pressing my chest against him.

“I’m sorry, Livy. I’m just fucked up in my head right now. I just need… I don’t know. I need to be alone.”

“Let me help you,” I whispered before I pressed my lips against his back.

He shook his head, water flying around him. “I’m just so mad at myself. I’m so fucking angry.” He slammed his fist against the shower wall, and I wrapped my arms around his chest.

“Take it out on me, Parker. Let me help you let go.”

He turned toward me, finally looking me in the eyes. “I love you, Livy.”

“I know,” I nodded my head, “but fuck me like you don’t.”

Holly Renee is from the small town of Maryville, TN where she was born and raised. She currently lives with her husband and fur baby, Luna. (Yes. She was named after Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter.)

Holly Renee is the author of her debut novel Letting Go.

During the day, Holly spends her time as a nurse, but once her shift ends, she falls deep into her passion of reading and writing.